An Overthinker's Guide to Starting New Things—New Year's Resolutions Edition
You want to do things. That’s as fundamental as needing oxygen to survive—though, granted, achieving your dreams is less likely to make you pass out if you forget. Everyone wants to achieve something. Yet, many of us don’t—at least not in certain areas of our lives. Isn’t that why New Year’s resolutions exist? It’s the season for them now, so why not try doing it properly this time?
I will use an example from my life to illustrate, but the ideas should apply to whatever goals you have in mind.
A few months ago, I decided I wanted to learn the guitar. Since I don’t believe in waiting for January to make changes—why delay if you already know what you want?—I went ahead, ordered a guitar, and got started.
Simple, right? Not exactly. There’s a reason people wait until January to start what they already know they want to do: starting is hard. The process isn’t as simple as “just start exercising” or “just pick up the guitar.” It’s true, just ask any gym employee come February.
If you’re anything like me, your beautiful bugger of a brain is a master of enacting devious machinations to undermine your carefully calculated plans—here’s one strategy that works for me.
Sit down and deeply consider what you want to achieve, and why.
Often, we confuse the tools to reach our goals with the goals themselves. For instance, you might think you want to lose weight, but what you actually want is to feel attractive or improve your health. Or you might aim to earn more money, but what you really seek is happiness or security. Money, especially, is almost never the goal—it’s the means. And yet, it’s what we strive toward most often. The distinction is crucial. It’s like aiming for a car when what you really need is a road trip.
And once you’ve identified it, you might have to dig deeper still. Why do you want that? Understanding the why equips you with easy, ready-to-go answers to all the cheeky questions and remarks your inner critic will throw at you. On top of that, it gives you something to push back against the fear of new things when it inevitably comes. Good!
Happiness, for example, is something we often focus on without really understanding it. I’d be remiss not to recommend checking out any or all of the following podcasts featuring Arthur Brooks [1][2][3], a ‘happiness scientist’ who really knows what he’s talking about.
Returning to my guitar example: I don’t want to learn guitar for its own sake—I want to learn music. The guitar is just the tool I’ve chosen for practical reasons: it’s portable, versatile, and its sound appeals to me. Plus, it’s less likely to offend my neighbors than a drum set. But knowing my goal is broader than just the guitar, I’ve also explored digital audio workstations, watched music theory videos, and plan to try other instruments in the future.
Why do I want to learn music? Because music is magic. It affects our bodies in ways science doesn’t fully understand, and if science doesn’t understand it—we call it magic. It changes heart rates, evokes emotions, and stirs us to action. I want to explore that magic while I still can. I can only play music while I have a pulse, after all, and I’m not headed in that direction.
So when my brain tries to sabotage my efforts—telling me I’m too tired to practice or asking why I bother—I have my answers ready. I know what I want and why I want it. Most of the time, that’s enough to keep me going—though nobody wins all the time, and that’s ok. You should expect it.
Once you’ve clarified your goals and their deeper purpose, the next step is to integrate them into your daily life.
Next: Make room for your goal.
Your schedule matters. Even if you don’t consciously think you have one, you do—your daily life follows a routine (bar extreme circumstances). You still only have 24 hours a day—if you’re adding something new, it has to replace something else. On the flip side, if you want to do less of something, you should replace it with something else. It is also important to make the switch a conscious decision so you know what you’re giving up and what you're gaining in return.
For me, guitar practice replaced one of my evening relaxation hours. It’s on the schedule, so it happens, but something like singing, which I would also like to be able to do, is not on the schedule, and it doesn’t get done. So, put it on the schedule and know what you are giving up for it!
Finally, consider how to structure your goals.
The key is to frame your goals in a way that makes failure almost impossible—especially daily failure. For instance, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds, you’ll fail every day. There will never be a day when you weigh yourself before bed and find yourself 20 pounds lighter. You’ll be racking up failed day after failed day and that’s demoralizing. Instead, break it down into smaller actionable steps: exercising regularly, adjusting your diet, and choosing healthier groceries.
Similarly, aiming for a promotion is vague and out of your direct control. Instead, identify what you can do daily to increase your chances—working towards performance metrics (not hitting them, that’s something you can easily fail at!), learning new skills, or having a conversation with your boss.
The idea is to set a flexible long-term goal—something broad enough to adapt as you grow—and pair it with specific short-term goals that guide you toward it. Think of the long-term goal as your "North Star," providing direction without being rigid. To quote Tim Ferriss on the importance of specificity: “Life punishes the vague wish and rewards the specific ask.”
In my case, I use a website to write down my practice routine. When it’s time to practice, I don’t have to think—I just follow the list. One less decision for my brain to mess up—as a serial overthinker, that’s always good.
One last piece of advice: Weekly assessments.
Templates don’t work for everyone or every goal. That’s where reflection comes in. Schedule weekly check-ins to evaluate your progress. Ask yourself: What’s working? What’s not? How can I adjust?
Your short-term actions should align with your long-term aspirations. If they’re not, tweak them. Keep learning and refining your approach. That’s how you turn resolutions into reality. And don’t forget to put the assessment on the schedule! Otherwise it won’t get done.
Also remember—starting new things is difficult, but once you slip into routine they become easier. Prepare yourself mentally for the difficulties ahead.
I hope this approach proves beneficial to you and I wish you a happy new year.
P.S. I wrote a poem to help myself survive the bad days, which you might find useful. You can check it out here.